It would be my last sunrise.
The last time I glimpse the orange streaks stretching across the wide blue sky. The sun shimmering gold above the ocean as its dazzling light glistens off the frothy peaks of the waves.
My breath catches in my throat at the sheer beauty of it. Nature at her most glorious.
A young woman rides along the footpath atop the headland where I stand. She stops and pulls her bicycle onto the grass beside me.
“Gosh. It’s a stunner this morning,” she says.
I nod and hmm in agreement.
It’s been centuries since he witnessed the spectacle of the dawn. His eyes have not gazed on the sun, nor experienced its warmth for four hundred years.
He watches it rise in movies. The colours vividly captured on celluloid. The grandeur of the moment frozen in time. He strains to remember the touch of it on his cold flesh. The lick of its heat.
He studies the photos I take for him and eagerly listens as I explain every glint, every shade, every sensation the still image does not capture.
I consider how startling he would be in sunlight’s brilliance. His alabaster skin, eternally shadowed by the night, gleaming iridescent. His striking face illuminated, and his green eyes blazing.
I will never see him like that.
Just as I will never see another sunrise.
I draw a deep breath, holding the air trapped in my lungs until they burn. Savouring the scent of the sea spray that follows the air down.
I won’t breathe after today. My nostrils will never again tickle from the breeze. My chest will never rise and fall. I exhale an exaggerated puff and marvel at how my lips tingle as the air passes over them.
I will miss it. All of it. But I don’t regret my decision.
Not when I feel his mouth on mine, or his cool touch against my searing hot skin. Not when his hard body presses into me, as his butterfly soft kisses dust my shoulders, and his powerful hands caress my back.
I would give up everything for that.
I will give up everything.
I selfishly want him to love me forever, and if that means dying for him, then I shall.
A tear splashes onto my cheek and I swipe it away before another can follow.
I take one last wistful look at the fledgling day and turn and walk towards my car.
He holds my hand in his. “You’re sure?”
I gaze at his handsome face. His eyes long dead, yet still full of love, crave reassurance.
“I’m positive,” I say, and tenderly kiss his icy cheek.
He runs his nail across my palm, drawing a thin line of blood.
I hiss at the pain and wince as he dips the nib of the quill into the fresh wound.
Red liquid drips from the pen’s end as he hands it to me.
My signature in an ancient book is all it takes to end my life.
I close my eyes and picture the sunrise, fixing it eternally in my mind, before inking my name on the page.
My death was a brief one.
© Amy Hutton 2021